


Dark Room

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Depression, Sad, Short, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22325173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Really short vent shit.Jooheon's depression keeping him in the darkness.Please don't read if you're sensitive to this topic, I don't want to upset anyone.
Kudos: 3





	Dark Room

Jooheon was curled into a ball in his bed, the covers acting like a barrier between him and the rest of the world. He didn’t want to know what was going on out there, what the weather was like, what people were doing. He just wanted to stay in bed where he wasn’t around anybody else. It was sunny out, but Jooheon didn’t know that. His curtains were closed, the blinds behind them were closed too. No light was visible in his room, it was pretty much pitch black and that’s the way he liked it. Everything was dark to him anyway. All of the colour had been sucked out of his life a long time ago when his depression started, and he knew it wouldn’t come back. Even if he knew it was sunny and bright outside, Jooheon would still think it was raining. He had a permanent monochrome filter over his eyes, everything was dark and miserable. Every smile looked like a frown, every kind word spoken sounded like a threat, every ray of sunshine looked like lines of lightning in a stormy sky. 

His whole body ached as he laid there, staring off to the other side of his blackened room in a trance. He was so fucking tired. He was always tired, no matter how much he slept or much coffee he drank, he was always in a state of exhaustion that couldn’t be changed. Jooheon felt his nose start to sting as tears pricked his eyes, welling up in the corners and sliding down the bridge of his nose and his temple, drying onto his skin and soaking into his pillow. His quiet sobs were muffled by the covers that were pulled up around the bottom of his face, he could feel pain not only mentally but physically. 

Jooheon could feel the pain in his chest; specifically in his heart. The sadness always made it feel like his heart strings were being pulled and torn. He was sure that one day his heart would really break, and every time the pain hit it felt like the day it would happen. The weight of the world was crashing down on him and he couldn’t take it. 

Sitting up in bed, Jooheon placed his feet on the floor, shuddering as the cold wood sent shivers through his body. He could barely do anything that normal people could do. Anything productive was foreign to him, he didn’t have the energy to do anything other than sit in bed, sleep and cry. Everything else that he needed to do was fueled purely by the knowingness that he had to do those things and he couldn’t get out of them. 

Jooheon placed his hands on his face and kept them there. The pitch blackness of having his hands over his eyes was somewhat soothing to him. He wiped his tears away as his hands dragged down his face. Mustering every bit of energy he possibly could, Jooheon stood up and the blood immediately rushed to his head, making him dizzy. He inhaled sharply, holding onto the headboard of his bed so he wouldn’t fall. He knew he needed to eat, but dragging his feet across the floor to get to the other side of his room, he stopped when he was almost there. He shook his head, turning to go back to bed. He didn’t care if he went hungry, he probably wouldn’t feel it anyway. He just wanted to be in his safe cocoon of blankets in the dark, and that’s where he would stay.


End file.
